How to welcome December.

It's Christmas time! And do you know what that means in the UAE? .. nothing really.

Well, my family likes to keep traditions strong. Considering the fact that we are hungover, tripping on decorations and sick of christmas songs within the first week of December- I think we are doing an exceptional job this year.

How to wear shorts in November.

What's new?

We went away for a few days to beautiful Fujeirah for the Eid holidays last week. Gorgeous beach, loads of sun, mountains and endless amount of fun. But let me tell you folks - outside of Dubai, the other emirates in the UAE are not so welcoming to shorts and tank tops - atleast not outside of the resorts. I wish I could understand the words people were muttering under their breath (and i'm sure out loud as well) when I walked into a grocery store in Fujeirah with my cutest pair of yellow shorts and a v-neck tee. I imagine they were saying "wow, nice legs" or "whoa, that girl has gorgeous hair" or maybe even "i love those shorts on her - wonder where she got them" or "the colours yellow and salmon are surprisingly a great combo" 
.. yea, i'll keep dreaming. 
Women in their traditional garb were literally covering their children's eyes and men stopped mid-sentence to stare. I have never been more uncomfortable in my life! This is officially the moment I realized I live in a conservative Muslim country. Hope y'all enjoyed the show Fujeirah.

Other than the events that week, we got a new TV and like all customer service in Dubai - this was no different.I can't, I'm over it now...it was from SharafDG #justsayin

The christmas tree is up and the carols are on loop, but we're still decorating

Time's flying right now- can't believe November is almost done! Nothing really significant has happened but I have a lot to look forward to...

The next two weekends are jam packed with Rugby Sevens, Akon and Creamfields and CHRISTMAS! Stay tuned folks.

Enjoy the rest of my bloggity blog for the next little while. xoxo

How to glitter.

Today, I sold five of my paintings to raise funds for the church and also volunteered to do some face painting for the kids at the festival. Simple enough, right?

Things I Learnt today

1) Do not assume that 4 year olds are potty trained. They can and will pee on ur leg.
2) Glitter adheres to pee especially when a fan blows it up into ur skirt
4) Therefore, it is possible to have glitter on ur britney ...at church.
5) Bossy little girls demand extravagant designs repeatedly
6) 100% humidity at about 32 degrees celsius is "good weather"
7) Buying gold and diamonds at a Dubai church's auction is pretty much mandatory. (wwjd?)
8) Wearing anything less than 2 percent of your body weight in gold is abnormal.
9) My brother's pretty confident that Jesus parted the Red Sea and walked on it.
10) You can befriend a fat baby by flashing ur wallet at her ....and then return her when your done.

That being said, I had a fun day. The food was awesome and the people were hilarious!

Anyways, here are some pics from this week! unfortunately no pics of all the gold and diamonds...

little orphan cat staring at the fish at a local fresh food market

They actually fed the cat fish heads. Happy kitty?

The world taunting me. I got this little "feel good tip" on the other end of my teabag three times so far.

Painting for church

Lilies!

Church stuff

Honey Noodles with ice cream. Just say "NO" kids...

How to get licensed.

I remember getting my license in Canada. You get a token, you wait in line, you get an instructor, you pass the test, you give them ur SIN card (for lack of a better ID) and pose for a drowsy looking photo while getting your eyes checked. To assume that this would be a normal process in most countries is really far fetched. And I learnt it the hard way....

Day 1
7am - knock knock "WAKE UP CHINKY"
- "Dad, why can't I just take a cab there later on?"
- Because you won't be taken seriously. and you need a shitload of documents.
- "I'm awake"

So we go to the RTA - (Road and Transport Authority), to get my Canadian license transferred to a valid UAE license. I was pretty excited, not gonna lie. We strut over to the "help desk" only to find a drowsy looking guy who legitimately seemed disturbed to see people in front of him.

- "Hi, I have a Canadian driver's license and need to get a UAE license"
- "Fill out this form"
- Required on this form are

1.  2 passport sized photos
2.  copy of ur passport with visa page
3.  current driver's license
4.  an eye test
5.  letter from your sponsor.
    

Jeezus - would you like an arm with that!? But it doesn't end there, we knew that we would have to get a letter from the Canadian consulate as well. So just to clarify:

"Do we need a letter from the Canadian consulate?""YES. and also your [my dad's] passport and visa copy"
"Thanks genius"

9am at this point ; I was expecting to be home and back in bed. Instead, my Dad and I are cruising down Sheikh Zayed Rd (the 401 of dubai) jamming to Chaka Khan's "I'm every woman" on the radio. Yes, we are on our way to get a letter from Canada to say my license is legit.

"Get off in front of UNB and go behind Bur Juman"
"Dad, you're actually speaking code to me right now"
"Just get off here and go towards the Canadian flag"
"Got it"

7th floor is Canada- literally. I get there and it's red and white and glorious everywhere with poppies in front of every counter. Ok, there were only 2 counters. But it felt like home! (Except for the part where they confiscated my phone and made me walk through a metal detector)

"Hi, I'm here to get a letter to validate my driver's license"

"No problem, come back in the afternoon between 12 and 2, we will have it ready for u"
"Um, I have an appointment at 1, is it possible I can get it any earlier?" (Lies, I just like to challenge authority)
"Yes, it's not too busy, you can wait a half hour and get it"

Great! I needed a break from my blackberry anyways - I'm sure I can sit here in solitude and pretend i'm in Ontario for a while.

15 minutes later: "Hi, ms. Merwin? Your papers are ready" - "That'll be 60 dirhams"I handed them over a 100 dirham bill which was immediately declined "I have no change, however, you can go to the supermarket downstairs and get change"

How to keep busy. Sort of.

It's been 2 weeks since I last posted and I feel like I've drifted off a little bit from the blogosphere already! I am determined to keep this going. So, this is what I've been upto ....

• Trying to get a blackberry to work. I don't want to make this a whiney blog but OMG, DU get your effing act together and get me my BBM already!!!  
• I sincerely take back everything I said about Rogers - I was wrong, DU has the absolute worst customer service I have ever experienced
• I give up.
• WWJD?
• Trying to get rid of my old phone with Rogers
• Disaster, that is all.
• Get my driver's license issues sorted out
• Canada lost my permanent license in the mail. Lovely!
• Investigating a certain "lapdance" situation. (Those who need to know already know - but Sharyn, you need to hear this lol) 
• Watching a thousand hours of Gossip Girl
• Seriously missing Halloween and all the drunkenness and wigs and glitter that it brings.
• Deciding whether my Dad should move to Qatar - this story isn't even ready for the blogosphere.
• Working out 
• the benefits of a gym & pool being a flight of stairs away are endless!
• unfortunately, KFC, "Chicken Tikka Inn", Subway, "Just Falafel", "Arz Lebenon" and a handy little Gelato shop are also like 2 minutes away.
• Sunning
• I never understood why dark skinned people can't love the sun; I love my perma-tan =)
• Don't worry, I've been slathering on sunblock - like 60 proof is hella necessary though
• Shopping
• Honestly, does forever 21 ever NOT have a sale?
• More importantly, somebody needs to explain to me why they have "winter" gear in stores. Scarves, sweaters, jackets, boots, etc are everywhere!
• I want to see someone rocking winter boots in this country - I promise I will blog about you and creep a pic of u. watch out.
• Sleeping
• All those hours of sleep I lost in my four years of undergrad have ALMOST been made up for.
• almost.

SO Really - nothing new happened in the past two weeks. Hopefully November will be a little bit more eventful and the blogs will get more interesting. Until then - enjoy my mindless blabber folks.

XOXO - I blame GossipGirl

How to turn 22.

You go TRIBAL!! I just had the best birthday dinner with the family at "Tribes" in Dubai. Yes, you guessed it, African food. AND they sang and danced for me!! If you are vegetarian (Leanne)- don't even think about it. It is meat galore!

Camel, goat, ox, calamari, beef, lamb and even chicken was on the menu. So ofcourse, we tried a little bit of everything .. camel sausages were delish.

Their birthday songs were SO good and if u listen closely you can hear them sing something about "hakuna matata" and then finally wakka wakka at about 2:52 ...Nishanth sings along (I apologize).





Our massive and delicious salad

Chicken, Camel, Beef and Lamb sausage (from left to right) with fig&onion dip

My African brudda and I

Nishanth's lamb. umm there's something growing on it....

Peppered Beef Potjie. i like the bowl more than the food

Dad's baby calamari with goat cheese and potatoes. exotic enough?

We took a walk and said hello to the chefs who were really nice!

African art on the menu. aka. my new bf

Best server ever and my beef packed to go (which I forgot at the restaurant)

Nishanth's girlfriend.

We are family.

Me, brought to you by: 22 yrs of smiles, love and good food.


THANK YOU! - I loved reading everyone's wall posts/messages and hearing voices from all around the world today.  love love love

How to get ur hair did.

I have honestly been avoiding this day since I got here. It's been around 2 and a half months since my hair has seen a hair salon. I've been going to Mark's Salon in Westdale (Hamilton) for the past 3 years! I miss my Zohan-look alike-balding-palestenian middle aged hair saviour.  Mark - this one's for u. 

How to find a hair dresser/ "The One":

• Every other building has atleast two "Ladies Hair Saloon" with fully tinted bay windows
• What is "Saloon"? it's Salon misspelt - everytime. 
• Why only Ladies? Because it's taboo for men and women to cut their hair at the same place (I think this is consistent with Canada for the most part)
• Why fully tinted? Because it's taboo for men to peer inside (I can appreciate that)
• There are five "saloons" within a 2 minute radius from my home - So I shopped 
• My criteria included hygiene, modern equipment, quality hair products and a hair dresser with some sort of skill or atleast good hair.
• I have thick wavy hair that can't be tamed easily - so some good irons will be necessary.

Salon #1
- A well dressed hair dresser in all black sporting bangs and shoulder length light hair with highlights - approved
- A good selection of hair colours and great customer service - approved
- 800 Dhs = 220.680627 Canadian dollars . wtf?
- I used to pay $75 for a root touch up and maybe $125 for full colour. max!
-SO i told the lady to go jump in a mine  that I'd make an appointment when I get home and clear my schedule.

Salon #2- Platinum blonde philipina with a pixie hair-do greets me at the door (Cool I guess, but was that an accident? i'm nervous) "hi maam, how u like?"
-"umm hi, can I see your hair colours and prices?"
- She had a selection of literally 10 hair colours and said it would cost me 400 dhs plus 150 for a colour wash. That's 110 dollars plus 40 bucks.
- "150 for the colour, what's the 400 for?"
- "Hair dressing maam"
- I pretty much grunted and walked out with the same line as Salon#1

Salon #3- FIVE philipinas greet me at the door and immediately seat me in front of a mirror - This is too overwhelming. "Hi maam, sit ma'am, what u have ma'am?"
-"Just a moment to breathe"
-Then this lady from inside a random little room peers out and says " you lookalike u hab thee dry hair ma-damn and also berry long... this will take atleast eight to ten bottles ma-damn"
- Thanks for dissing my hair before even saying hello. "How much?"
-"800 dirhams madam"
- "DIE"  "Thank you"

Salon #friggin4
- ONE lady greets me at the desk, nice hair, smiley .. finally! could this be the one!?
- The customer in the chair getting her hair done had great hair
- Good selection of colours and I didn't need an appointment.
- I almost settle before even asking her the price. (which turned out to be 500dhs flat)
- So she pretty much mixed the colour, got someone to apply it and someone else to wash and blow dry.
- 40 minutes later "Madam would you like ur hair blow dried straight or curled in?"
- " Just straight with some volume would be great thanks"
- "no problem ma'am"
- She blow dried my hair painfully ANDDD 30 minutes later.. I look like I'm going to prom.

Why was the salon called "Lemoni"?? .. I don't know. 
Great service but i'm not entirely sure if this "The One" yet

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

How to move in.

This week has been hectic! The Family finally moved in to the new place and it has been hard work, time consuming, confusing and fun.

Hard work:

• Cleaning out two massive fish tanks and not killing any fish in the process
• 4 fish have been laid to rest
• Father Merwin did most of the work; we gave him good company
• Waking up earlier than or at the same time as my parents was impossibly hard to do
• 2 naps were conquered during the day to compensate
• Pretending like your doing work when really your suitcase has been packed for hours
• I travel light, most of my stuff is still on a ship somewhere.
• My mom's closet is a nightmare; i refuse. i can't.

Time-consuming:

• I decided to decorate my room by painting a simple mural on the wall
• not so simple - it took FOREVER
• I messed up in a few places and was effing frustrated
• Shopping for extra kitchen cabinets and a bed while we're at it.
• that furniture shop that opened down the street is useless
• thank god ikea is open until midnight on the weekends!!!!
• ikea is a nightmare at 10pm
• u get great ice-cream for 99 fils to compensate (fils are like the cents of dirhams - ur welcome.)
• Calling the government of Canada to figure out where the hell ur permanent driver's license is
• self explanatory - government "customer service" is brutal.
• they said "You have to come in -in person" to be able to get it mailed out again.
• suck it Canada.

MEANWHILE - Since we just moved from the 8th floor (802) to the seventh floor (706) and the hallway layout is exactly the same; most times one of the following situations occur from the elevator ride:

1. Getting off on the 8th floor (wrong) and walking towards ur old apartment - fail
2. Getting off on the 7th floor (right) and walking towards the wrong unit - fail
3. Getting off on the 8th floor (wrong) and walking towards the right unit - fail
• This happened today - I actually turned the doorknob thinking I was on the 7th floor and I heard the building security yelling out as he was walking by "MADAM this is EIGHT ZERO SIX" - oh shit!
• I'm sorry people of 806 - it was an honest mistake

And
Here are some pics from my work in progress that took away a good chunk of my life
(also, i clearly dont know how to format pictures, sorry)


.

my little birdy! isn't he cute??

the other one! they are actually meant to be looking at each other. 

the tree in progress - i actually had to use a ladder to finish it

ALMOST done - and surprisingly creepy looking.

How to move. again.

The Family is moving, again! And for once its in the same area. In fact, it's from the 8th floor to the 7th floor- barely enough to be called a "move". But yet, it's the same process all over again...

When I was younger (under 13) I always told my parents that when I grow up I will never..NEVER move and i'm sure I was just as dramatic about it too. Ofcourse, that's really not how life's panned out for me so far considering i've moved homes eleven times in the past 21 years (see below). I feel blessed and sometimes even superior to others (not gonna lie) because of my experiences, but it's also made me dysfunctional in a lot of ways. No, I am not gonna self-diagnose myself on my blog - I'm sure my family, friends and Nissy(especially) can vouch for that statement.

Anyways- Moral of the Story: 

“For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else.”-RW.Emerson

There's just no winning. This time I'm just going to quit the whining, pick my new room's colours, and lift boxes with a smile on my face. And don't worry, I'll post pics! #IamPopular

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never really sat down and thought about how many times I've moved in my life. It's always felt like one too many and here's my timeline to prove it (with wiki links for the more peculiar places):

House #	Age	Place
1	(0-1)	Bangalore, India
2	(1-3)	Chennai/Madras,, India
3	(4-5)	Umm-al-Quwain,, UAE
4	(5-6)	Umm-al-Quwain, UAE
5	(6-7)	Umm-al-Quwain, UAE
6	(7-10)	Abu Dhabi, UAE
7	(11-15)	Scarborough, Canada
8	(15-17)	Ajax, Canada
9	(18-19)	Hamilton, Canada
10	(19-21)	Hamilton, Canada
11	(21-now)	Dubai, UAE

How to NOT get a job

This past week has been the most entertaining so far.... I REALLY wish i had pictures to post with this, but I have no phone and therefore no camera (I keep forgetting to carry the real one)..
ps. this post might be long, i need to blog more regularly to avoid this. lesson learnt.

It all began with my brother telling me about this career fair for the Dubai International Film Festival or DIFF (biters, i know). So I googled away and it looks pretty legit and worth my time. I made note of the time and place (in my mind, because i have no phone) and then told my parents about my newly made plans and also asked for money to take a cab - they were less than impressed. My Dad however was supposed to be off from work that day and offered to drive me.

Day 1: it's 11.30am and I'm ready to roll and the pops is driving yay!!
- i got the location wrong
-we drove about 25km the wrong way
-we had to drive back 30km to get to the right place
-"knowledge village" is impossible to find
- we had to leave cause my dad had a meeting soon
- My Dad must have told me to "forget about this Chinky, get a real job" atleast 20 times over those 3 hours.
- I got dropped off back home and my mom drove me later that day
- I dropped off my resume and spoke with 2 people and left pretty assured that i aint gettin NO calls
-Thanks for the rides family :)

Day 2- I got a call back!.. temp job, but still yay!
- I try to google "Dubai Media City" its about 10 minutes away

Day 3- Cab ride there (1): "Hi maam, where u go?" .. "umm, Dubai Media City".. "ok ma'am"
20 minutes later, he didn't know where he was going .."Just drop me off here, I'll figure it out".. I thought I was close by anyways. I asked another cabbie nearby "where's building 4?" .. "ma'am, that's quite a walk away, want a ride?". I'm already sweating... "yes!"
-Cab ride there (2): "Hi maam, which building?" .. "i thought YOU KNEW mutherfucker"  10 dirhams later he drops me off where he picked me up.. I was at the right building.
- Asshole cabs.
- I got a call back

Day 4- Cab ride there (1): "Hi maam, where?" .. "Dubai Media City".. "ok ma'am, is it ok if i take a left at blahblahblah?" .. "umm sure". This time I knew where I was going. Dude proceeded to ask me my life story and told me i was pretty..how nice, now drive me please.

- Supervisor woman spent 45 minutes with me at her desk explaining what i'll be doing and where she keeps her files, etc, etc. Does this mean I got the job? I thought this was an interview? Later I got led into a room with a UAE national (aka full arab get up) for my FINAL interview. alright i'm ready for this...

- "Tell me about yourself" .. "Well, I just graduated .. "
"NO NO, tell me where you were born, about ur family"
- wtf. "ok, umm i was born in India, lived here in Dubai/Abu Dhabi for a while then Canada for the most part... etc etc" LIFE STORY
- "What does ur dad do, where does he work?"
- "are u the effing CIA?"  "he's an accountant by profession but he's works in investment operations.. " and your mom? "she's a teacher"
- "Great, what do you do for fun?" .. "um, I play the piano and I paint, I love art" "what kind of music?" .. "classical to play, but r&b and everything else to listen to"
- He continued to ask..."who's ur all time favourite" "Who's ur favourite band?" "What's ur favourite song from THIS YEAR??"
- OMG. "destiny's child, beatles, wakka wakka/fifa songs."
- "OK THANK YOUUU"
- fuck you
- "yea thanks", I smile and walk out.
- double you tee effffffff

I think it's safe to say that I'm not getting a call back. He clearly did not like my playlist OR my life story. Dude, if you wanted to update your ipod just ask..

-Cab ride back: "Hello maam.. where you go?" .. um "Al Barsha, by mall of the emirates" (Home) .. "Maam, I am new here" Great.. ofcourse u are..

END SCENE


Credit goes to my entire family for this great week and shout out to all the amazing cabbies. You guys were the best sources of entertainment possible. That being said,  I should have listened to my Dad. Time to find a real job...and study :(

  

how to be awkward

Let's begin with some uncomfortable situations.

Part 1 - A few days ago I wake up and I see a MAN in my room. I definitely twitched/flinched/jumped under my covers and possibly yelped a little (not gonna lie). I peered out more carefully at the blue jumpsuit and it was the building's maintenence and cleaning crew fixing a pull-up bar in the doorway to my brother's washroom..random. We were both uncomfortable. Thanks for the warning family... "But Chinky, we tried to tell you". LIARS. Good morning.

Part 2 - This afternoon, I came back from a swim and was heading for a shower. To have a hot shower or any hot water in the washroom there's a switch beside the regular light switches that needs to be turned on. This might be a weird concept for most people, but anyone who has been to India/Dubai know what i'm saying (looking at u SharynG). Anyways, I decide to turn on the water heater and give it some time to heat up... meanwhile, I take my shirt off and sit at my desktop with my bathing suit on. I hear someone going to the washroom which is in direct view of me. Oh hello maintenence/cleaning man who's name I dont know. He was SO awkward about it and I just.. put my shirt back on and made no eye contact for the rest of his time here. He took special effort to avoid me.

I'm sure I have a great reputation amongst the maintenence crew now.

How to be jet lagged

Since last Thursday night it feels like all i've been doing is a whole bunch of nothing and i'm basking in it (for now). I would like to think some of this laziness is because of my jet-lagged body that I haven't even attempted to fix. In all seriousness, there's no better feeling than having NO responsibilities.

- I don't own any valid currency

- I don't carry a purse cause there ain't nothin to carry in it..

- I don't drive or have a valid driver's license
- My only reliable friend is my Mom
- I fall asleep at odd hours
- I don't know how to work the TV- I have nothing to wake up for except food
- I don't cook, do dishes or laundry

This has to be a dream.

What am I here for again? right .. WORK. However, things are slow here cause it's Eid. The city is in holiday-mode and the grind for most people doesn't begin until tomorrow. So i've mostly been indoors and getting driven around by my family to malls and dinners for the past few days. The streets are always lit up and malls/restaurants don't close until midnight or 1am. I wonder if that's how it always is? or is it just holiday hours? Either way, I didn't get to see the crazy amazing fireworks or the laser show the city is renowned for. Disappointing!

So my only opportunity to capture some images were from dinner tonight for my Mom's b'day. Its been 2 yrs since I last celebrated a birthday with her! It was only appropriate to go for Chinese. PF Chang's just opened up at the Mall of the Emirates (the one with the ski hill) which is a 2 minute walk away from home but a 15 minute drive and what we obviously chose to do instead. Altogether it was a great place to go! Ken - my now favourite filipino server - was the bomb! So we dined in the new wing of the mall with versace, cartier, michael kors, etc..no biggie! No shopping today, but I took pics and creeped on some Arabs for the sake of my blog. Y'all can thank me later. 

Pretty decor and great menu 

Happy Birthday MOM!

just the local crowd at MOE (Mall of the Emirates)

Definitely glitzier than parking lots in Canada

CREEPING.

How to get into the UAE

I've got off the Emirates Airbus A380 many times before to visit my parents and brother who moved to Dubai in 2008. This time it's different - it's a one way ticket...

This blog is for my friends back home in Toronto/Hamilton/Ajax/Mississauga, I already miss you guys! and I hope that this will keep us close for the next 2 years or so.

Honestly, nothing can keep me entertained for 13 hours other than my BLACKBERRY!! The "ICE" programming on emirates has well over 200 movies and TV series... and yet, nothing held my attention for over 20 minutes. I tried to watch "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" and failed.. "Remember Me" - FAIL. "Vampire Diaries" - EPIC fail. So I pretty much ate, slept and read a little bit of Nelson Mandela's autobiography that I bought the day before just incase this happened. Books are great back-up plans.

I also watched a fat indian kid for a good part of the journey. For those who dont know - I LOVE FAT CHILDREN. This one was especially special cause he reminded me of Manny from "Modern Family" cause he looked like a little man and wore a serious expression on his chubby little face. Later he walked into the aircraft's washroom barefoot - I gagged and ended that fascination quickfast. Yuck!

FINALLY - I got off the aircraft and got into the massive and also gorgeous Dubai airport. I've been here before, but again - this felt different. I walked into the immigration area feeling good until I saw the massive line ups... 12 counters with a 30 minute line up for each. It's time for a washroom break - I need to freshen up before anything at this point.

As I was coming out of the washroom (feeling much better) I see fat indian kid running (ok, more like rolling) to a counter with no line-up and a disabled sign over top. Obvi he got DENIED... I looked over at the officer at the counter and laughed a little - he shot back a smile at me. Interesting, should I give this line-up a shot? I decided not to push my luck and lined up behind one of the regular ones and once again missed my phone. Hmph.

Suddenly, I see this guy waving me down. I looked around to make sure it was me first. He had the whole Arab get-up and obviously worked at the airport. He waved me down and brought me to the disability-only line up. The officer that flashed me a smile previously said welcome and gestured for me to come through his counter. I was not about to deny this!  He smiled; "I love people that play music" ... I went blank for a second until I realized I was carrying a guitar on my back. In reality, I can play about three chords- it was my Dad's guitar. "Thank you, I appreciate it!" I smiled a guilty smile. CHACHING! I was through immigration - just like that. My bags were waiting for me at the carousel as I got there and ofcourse, I hit up the duty free for some booze before I headed out.

My parents and brother were there to pick me up "Hey Chinky, you look like a hippie with ur guitar" -don't forget my baggy denim shirt, birks, tights, long hair and booze.
I'm HOME!

I wonder how I would look when I leave two years from now.