How to NOT get a job

This past week has been the most entertaining so far.... I REALLY wish i had pictures to post with this, but I have no phone and therefore no camera (I keep forgetting to carry the real one)..
ps. this post might be long, i need to blog more regularly to avoid this. lesson learnt.

It all began with my brother telling me about this career fair for the Dubai International Film Festival or DIFF (biters, i know). So I googled away and it looks pretty legit and worth my time. I made note of the time and place (in my mind, because i have no phone) and then told my parents about my newly made plans and also asked for money to take a cab - they were less than impressed. My Dad however was supposed to be off from work that day and offered to drive me.

Day 1: it's 11.30am and I'm ready to roll and the pops is driving yay!!
- i got the location wrong
-we drove about 25km the wrong way
-we had to drive back 30km to get to the right place
-"knowledge village" is impossible to find
- we had to leave cause my dad had a meeting soon
- My Dad must have told me to "forget about this Chinky, get a real job" atleast 20 times over those 3 hours.
- I got dropped off back home and my mom drove me later that day
- I dropped off my resume and spoke with 2 people and left pretty assured that i aint gettin NO calls
-Thanks for the rides family :)

Day 2- I got a call back!.. temp job, but still yay!
- I try to google "Dubai Media City" its about 10 minutes away

Day 3- Cab ride there (1): "Hi maam, where u go?" .. "umm, Dubai Media City".. "ok ma'am"
20 minutes later, he didn't know where he was going .."Just drop me off here, I'll figure it out".. I thought I was close by anyways. I asked another cabbie nearby "where's building 4?" .. "ma'am, that's quite a walk away, want a ride?". I'm already sweating... "yes!"
-Cab ride there (2): "Hi maam, which building?" .. "i thought YOU KNEW mutherfucker"  10 dirhams later he drops me off where he picked me up.. I was at the right building.
- Asshole cabs.
- I got a call back

Day 4- Cab ride there (1): "Hi maam, where?" .. "Dubai Media City".. "ok ma'am, is it ok if i take a left at blahblahblah?" .. "umm sure". This time I knew where I was going. Dude proceeded to ask me my life story and told me i was pretty..how nice, now drive me please.

- Supervisor woman spent 45 minutes with me at her desk explaining what i'll be doing and where she keeps her files, etc, etc. Does this mean I got the job? I thought this was an interview? Later I got led into a room with a UAE national (aka full arab get up) for my FINAL interview. alright i'm ready for this...

- "Tell me about yourself" .. "Well, I just graduated .. "
"NO NO, tell me where you were born, about ur family"
- wtf. "ok, umm i was born in India, lived here in Dubai/Abu Dhabi for a while then Canada for the most part... etc etc" LIFE STORY
- "What does ur dad do, where does he work?"
- "are u the effing CIA?"  "he's an accountant by profession but he's works in investment operations.. " and your mom? "she's a teacher"
- "Great, what do you do for fun?" .. "um, I play the piano and I paint, I love art" "what kind of music?" .. "classical to play, but r&b and everything else to listen to"
- He continued to ask..."who's ur all time favourite" "Who's ur favourite band?" "What's ur favourite song from THIS YEAR??"
- OMG. "destiny's child, beatles, wakka wakka/fifa songs."
- "OK THANK YOUUU"
- fuck you
- "yea thanks", I smile and walk out.
- double you tee effffffff

I think it's safe to say that I'm not getting a call back. He clearly did not like my playlist OR my life story. Dude, if you wanted to update your ipod just ask..

-Cab ride back: "Hello maam.. where you go?" .. um "Al Barsha, by mall of the emirates" (Home) .. "Maam, I am new here" Great.. ofcourse u are..

END SCENE


Credit goes to my entire family for this great week and shout out to all the amazing cabbies. You guys were the best sources of entertainment possible. That being said,  I should have listened to my Dad. Time to find a real job...and study :(

  

how to be awkward

Let's begin with some uncomfortable situations.

Part 1 - A few days ago I wake up and I see a MAN in my room. I definitely twitched/flinched/jumped under my covers and possibly yelped a little (not gonna lie). I peered out more carefully at the blue jumpsuit and it was the building's maintenence and cleaning crew fixing a pull-up bar in the doorway to my brother's washroom..random. We were both uncomfortable. Thanks for the warning family... "But Chinky, we tried to tell you". LIARS. Good morning.

Part 2 - This afternoon, I came back from a swim and was heading for a shower. To have a hot shower or any hot water in the washroom there's a switch beside the regular light switches that needs to be turned on. This might be a weird concept for most people, but anyone who has been to India/Dubai know what i'm saying (looking at u SharynG). Anyways, I decide to turn on the water heater and give it some time to heat up... meanwhile, I take my shirt off and sit at my desktop with my bathing suit on. I hear someone going to the washroom which is in direct view of me. Oh hello maintenence/cleaning man who's name I dont know. He was SO awkward about it and I just.. put my shirt back on and made no eye contact for the rest of his time here. He took special effort to avoid me.

I'm sure I have a great reputation amongst the maintenence crew now.

How to be jet lagged

Since last Thursday night it feels like all i've been doing is a whole bunch of nothing and i'm basking in it (for now). I would like to think some of this laziness is because of my jet-lagged body that I haven't even attempted to fix. In all seriousness, there's no better feeling than having NO responsibilities.

- I don't own any valid currency

- I don't carry a purse cause there ain't nothin to carry in it..

- I don't drive or have a valid driver's license
- My only reliable friend is my Mom
- I fall asleep at odd hours
- I don't know how to work the TV- I have nothing to wake up for except food
- I don't cook, do dishes or laundry

This has to be a dream.

What am I here for again? right .. WORK. However, things are slow here cause it's Eid. The city is in holiday-mode and the grind for most people doesn't begin until tomorrow. So i've mostly been indoors and getting driven around by my family to malls and dinners for the past few days. The streets are always lit up and malls/restaurants don't close until midnight or 1am. I wonder if that's how it always is? or is it just holiday hours? Either way, I didn't get to see the crazy amazing fireworks or the laser show the city is renowned for. Disappointing!

So my only opportunity to capture some images were from dinner tonight for my Mom's b'day. Its been 2 yrs since I last celebrated a birthday with her! It was only appropriate to go for Chinese. PF Chang's just opened up at the Mall of the Emirates (the one with the ski hill) which is a 2 minute walk away from home but a 15 minute drive and what we obviously chose to do instead. Altogether it was a great place to go! Ken - my now favourite filipino server - was the bomb! So we dined in the new wing of the mall with versace, cartier, michael kors, etc..no biggie! No shopping today, but I took pics and creeped on some Arabs for the sake of my blog. Y'all can thank me later. 

Pretty decor and great menu 

Happy Birthday MOM!

just the local crowd at MOE (Mall of the Emirates)

Definitely glitzier than parking lots in Canada

CREEPING.

How to get into the UAE

I've got off the Emirates Airbus A380 many times before to visit my parents and brother who moved to Dubai in 2008. This time it's different - it's a one way ticket...

This blog is for my friends back home in Toronto/Hamilton/Ajax/Mississauga, I already miss you guys! and I hope that this will keep us close for the next 2 years or so.

Honestly, nothing can keep me entertained for 13 hours other than my BLACKBERRY!! The "ICE" programming on emirates has well over 200 movies and TV series... and yet, nothing held my attention for over 20 minutes. I tried to watch "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" and failed.. "Remember Me" - FAIL. "Vampire Diaries" - EPIC fail. So I pretty much ate, slept and read a little bit of Nelson Mandela's autobiography that I bought the day before just incase this happened. Books are great back-up plans.

I also watched a fat indian kid for a good part of the journey. For those who dont know - I LOVE FAT CHILDREN. This one was especially special cause he reminded me of Manny from "Modern Family" cause he looked like a little man and wore a serious expression on his chubby little face. Later he walked into the aircraft's washroom barefoot - I gagged and ended that fascination quickfast. Yuck!

FINALLY - I got off the aircraft and got into the massive and also gorgeous Dubai airport. I've been here before, but again - this felt different. I walked into the immigration area feeling good until I saw the massive line ups... 12 counters with a 30 minute line up for each. It's time for a washroom break - I need to freshen up before anything at this point.

As I was coming out of the washroom (feeling much better) I see fat indian kid running (ok, more like rolling) to a counter with no line-up and a disabled sign over top. Obvi he got DENIED... I looked over at the officer at the counter and laughed a little - he shot back a smile at me. Interesting, should I give this line-up a shot? I decided not to push my luck and lined up behind one of the regular ones and once again missed my phone. Hmph.

Suddenly, I see this guy waving me down. I looked around to make sure it was me first. He had the whole Arab get-up and obviously worked at the airport. He waved me down and brought me to the disability-only line up. The officer that flashed me a smile previously said welcome and gestured for me to come through his counter. I was not about to deny this!  He smiled; "I love people that play music" ... I went blank for a second until I realized I was carrying a guitar on my back. In reality, I can play about three chords- it was my Dad's guitar. "Thank you, I appreciate it!" I smiled a guilty smile. CHACHING! I was through immigration - just like that. My bags were waiting for me at the carousel as I got there and ofcourse, I hit up the duty free for some booze before I headed out.

My parents and brother were there to pick me up "Hey Chinky, you look like a hippie with ur guitar" -don't forget my baggy denim shirt, birks, tights, long hair and booze.
I'm HOME!

I wonder how I would look when I leave two years from now.